Although not all...

Now that we have explored at least some of the terminology that is out there: living will, advance directive, durable power of attorney, health care proxy, health care directive - we get a sense of why it is important to understand what each means, and how they effect the decisions that we make, why it is imperative that we discuss our choices with our family and designate.

Of course, one reason that we need these discussions is so that we do find someone who will act as our designate (and maybe our spouse or partner isn't the one...) who will be able to act on our behalf and actuate our desires.

If our choices are to be kept breathing as long as there are medications/treatments/procedures available that might afford a cure, a chance at a normal life, a relief to our situation we need to find a designate who is willing to "go the distance" with us.

If on the other hand we have placed a limit on how much we are willing to endure, and when the time comes to "pull the plug"/stop treatments/remove feeding tubes we need to have a designate that is willing to honor our wishes, and is able to carry them through.

Either route requires our designate to be of strong will, a person of honor, someone that we can trust and is worthy of our confidence. That's a tall order.

I remember my grandmother would tell us, her family, that she wanted to be cremated. My mother, who was executor, had a very hard time with her wish. She wanted her mother to be buried next to her father. Both very realistic wishes. And very adverse.

There are times when "family discussion" of this nature can be very traumatic, with a lot of misunderstandings. It could be a very real reason why these conversations are avoided, put off for another day.

More and more often we are hearing in the political arena about having our own health directive, as seen in "paying physicians for their time in conference with you", the patient regarding End of Life discussions.

(Most) every time we enter a hospital for care or treatment we are asked if we have a directive filed with someone, our physician, with the hospital itself. It is for this moment that we need to be prepared.

Many times we know when we are going to be hospitalized.

And just as many times it comes as a total surprise.